A Collings Guitar in Every Pot

I would like a new guitar. But don’t tell Jasper that. He needs to feel like he’s the Alpha Guitar in our house, and as it stands, he is. I don’t really think any guitar could take his place as he is the guitar for all seasons and body types – he’s complimentary to every figure.

But if I had money to burn, I’d get a Collings and have it custom made. I don’t want to offend any Martin lovers here. I’m not an anti-Martinite. My dear Jasper is of Martin blood. But a Collings guitar has the sweetest, the most lush sound ever. Hearing a Collings is like taking a bite out of rich milk chocolate with a squishy, creamy caramel center. Not surprisingly, they have a sweet price tag. If you’re going to get something nicer, why not go the whole hog, I say, and get a Collings?

When I get my Collings, it will have all the bells and whistles on it. It will have a built-in coffee brewer and GPS. The case will have an insulated compartment for a 6-pack and a pull out Coleman stove for those times when I find myself stranded in the middle of nowhere or I just want to have a good ol’ time.

Okay, I didn’t say that Collings is the best guitar in the world. I just want one. You have your Gibsons, Martins, Breedloves, Guilds, Seagulls, Takamines, Taylors, etc. I’m not technically proficient and I don’t know everything about necks, nuts, bracing, tuners, blah blah blah. There are plenty of people who hold that kind of knowledge in their brains so that I don't have to. I just know that I’ve played a few and it was love at first strum-de-dum-de-dum.

Some day when I’m a big star
I’m gonna own a Collings guitar
The nicest one that they can make
Pinch me so I know I'm awake
Oh life will be much sweeter
When I get my supersonic-SJ-cutaway-abalone inlay-not gonna put it on layaway-it's no beater-tops out the awesome meter-6-string Collings guitarrrrrrr!

Sunday Night in Crashville: Everybody Plays, Everybody Sings

It wasn't long after arrival and check-in at the hotel in Nashville that it was time to find dinner and then catch some kind of live music. Gary told me that in Nashville, "everybody sings, everybody plays" - and it surely is true. Due to the fact that the lines at the historic Bluebird Cafe were out the door, we opted for the songwriter showcase at the Holiday Inn.  

I found the sound system to be outstanding. The songwriters had varying degrees of fabulosity. In the first set were 3 very talented songwriters - a younger guy with a trendy, touseled hairdo ( I call it "The Nashville Look" because I have observed it with some frequency here), a Taylor Swift-ette, and  a seasoned songwriter who obviously felt he was beyond introductions, since he wore his hat low so that it mostly hid his face. He was more of a "this-is-a-song-I-wrote-back-when-with-billy-bob-jim-john-jones-that-was-cut-by-merle-haggard-right-before-he-decided-to-disinclude-it-from-his-historic-award-winning-record-but-I-forgive-anyway"  kind of guy.

In the next set, the songwriting sort of tapered off. One guy sang a sort of redneck song about a knife carrying gal who was just apparently really tough, with the chorus ending "She's hell's bells."  The next guy had a song that went something like, "Yadda yadda yadda - I don't know what to do-o-o-o, Yadda yadda yadda - I'm in love with you-u-uu." Or something like that.  God knows I celebrate creativity wherever I find it! GOD knows this! You may not know it, but I tell you, it is known -- so let's say the writing prompted a religious moment, in that context.

Making the evening interesting (for me) was a dude who was walking around looking like a pirate, complete with tricorn hat. Does this happen to anyone besides me? I decided I wanted to take a picture but - like a phantom clipper ship - he kept drifting in and out of sight. Finally, I asked him to take a picture with me, because it's just not every day that you get a photo op with a free agent pirate. 

It should be noted here that HE said he was dressed as a Civil War soldier.  "Uh, no. I don't think so. Not so much." That's what I wanted to say, but you just don't argue with a stranger dressed like a pirate. I mean......would you?

And anyway, I needed to get ready for a full day of recording on Monday. So while Nashville played and sang... I slept.