Do You Gotta Have a Dream?

"...you gotta have a dream, if you don't have a dream, how you gonna have a dream come true?"

                                                                -  From the song, "Happy Talk" by Rogers & Hammerstein

 The people who run around in my dreams every night are not very nice.  My dreams are always confused, hectic, disturbing and exhausting, and the people in my dreams all have questionable motives or are generally frustrating the hell out of me.

That is why I can sometimes be heard yelling in my sleep, and occasionally throwing a punch, and why the shooting pain that wakes me up is usually caused by a stray bullet that I take as I’m diving and rolling with my AK-47 across concrete and rubble strewn between two bombed-out buildings.  

I researched this a little. It seems I may have issues. What? One thing I read was that the emotions you feel in your dreams are real – probably leftovers from something you felt during your waking hours, but maybe you were just holding it in, or couldn’t fully express it, due to a myriad of circumstances.

I don’t know if this is correct, but I know that I often feel frustration and impatience when it comes to my “dreams” (and my life, for that matter). Everybody is supposed to have a Dream. You must have small dreams that are within arms' reach, and you must have BIG Dreams that are swirling around up there in the sky somewhere. You must use physics to determine the correct trajectory that will, upon launch, propel you upwards and right into your heart's desire. If you do not do this, you are wasting, wasting, wasting precious time.

“DREAM BIG.” We hear that all the time. And it’s right, it’s true. You cannot conceive of every possibility and how it will happen. So you do need to set your sights beyond what you could imagine. Some days, however, I grow weary of being bombarded by motivational mumbo jumbo, which eventually just becomes so much noise in my brain.

I am completely and utterly impressed by some seven year old who has the vision and the drive to become something great, and is already working on it at seven. But I’m also often discouraged and left feeling inadequate because I’m not doing enough, not doing enough, not doing enough. Why didn't I have this self-awareness when I was seven - when I had the time?? No, it’s never enough, and the hour is late. The longer I'm on this planet, the more urgent it seems to be that I should map out my piece of Pie in the Sky.

So back to the frustrations in my sleep: Could it be that I’ve allowed needing to have a Big Dream to dilute or eclipse  Joy in my life? I'm a huge proponent of Joy. I must examine this. I am no longer willing to sacrifice Joy for any outcome.  I have only recently discovered Joy and what it can truly mean. Being inexperienced at having It around, I might accidentally send It away.

 

On the other hand, am I just using this as an excuse so that I can say I don't really want a Big Dream and therefore, I do not need to worry about attaining one? Possibly. But if so, then I am missing the point of Being Alive, which is not - I believe - to make ourselves miserable or have fitful sleep. The point for me is to live, love, experience joy, create, grow, and let things unfold as they will. That would require Patience........um - that's another blog....

 

Say It Out Loud

Do you want some advice?  

All you have to do is ask. Or maybe don’t even ask. You’ll probably get it anyway.  There’s more advice out there than you can shake a stick at, these days.

The question, really, is whether to ask or not. Does sharing your dreams with someone run you the risk of short-circuiting the end result in some cosmic way? It can sometimes feel that way.

For the most part, I’m a firm believer in putting requests out there to the Universe. Saying things out loud seems to help make them happen. On the flip side, it feels risky to share dreams and aspirations with people and ask for help or advice.

Several years ago,  when I was just really starting to play my songs in public, people started asking if I had a CD for sale.  Well, of course I wanted to have one, but I didn’t know anything at all about it! I had no idea where to start. However, the idea was planted in my brain. A good friend told me, "Stop saying you want to make a CD and start saying you're doing it. You're going  to make a CD." So  I began to say it out loud as if it were going to happen.

It sounds like such a simple thing, but it was scary.  What if I didn't make it happen?  Even so, I took that one small step in the direction  of my goal.

Some time passed, and I was a fortunate enough to be a guest on a local radio program. A friend of mine heard the show, and mentioned it to me. Following my recent resolution, I bravely told him that I was planning to record a CD of my songs.  But, I explained, I had no idea where to start. He told me that he knew Ian Byrne – the endlessly charming Irish front man of the KC-based Irish rock band, the Elders -- quite well. He said, “A couple of the Elders have recording studios in their homes - I’ll talk to Ian and have him call you.”



The Elders



And sure enough, Ian did call me. What a sweetheart he was, with his lovely Irish accent, throwing around the words “Luv” and “Darlin” and “Lass” and what-have-you, as I was fairly swooning on the other end (I realize this has nothing to do with the overall point of this blog-story, but I felt it was worth mentioning). He talked to me a bit about my music, and then recommended that I work with Steve Phillips, who had recorded singer/songwriter types like me. He gave me Steve’s number, and told me to call him.

And I did call Steve, and set up a meeting. We talked about what I wanted to accomplish  and I could tell he was the right person to record my songs. He said, “Okay when you’re ready to get started let me know.” 

But I didn’t let him know. I’m not a fast mover when it comes to such things. I let months go by and I didn't move forward. Life, however, grew impatient with me. Once you set your toe and punt that great Kickball of Fate, you put things in motion. Out of the blue one day, Steve gave me a call and basically said, “are you ready to get started?” And so, I knew it was time. That's how my first CD, "Hit the Ground Running" - recorded at Steve Phillips' Big Time Music Productions  - became a reality.

Now, of course, I can look back on it and see how an entire chain of events unfolded that I could never have planned or predicted, all because I decided to talk about it. 

I only needed to say it out loud.

To find "Hit The Ground Running and other Laura Lisbeth music, go to www.lauralisbeth.com

The Way of the Chocolate Warrior

In another post, I'll share with you how hard it can be to really prepare to go and do that thing that you love. Meanwhile, I want to share a true life event that happened to me while in Nashville, working on my CD:

Being the seasoned traveler that I am, I brought a bag of those wonderful Dove chocolates with me. Mind you, I used them sparingly. But as I was carrying them around with me, I decided one night to eat a few - mainly for medicinal purposes. These little Dove candies - I've talked about them before - I love 'em because they give you little inspirational messages inside the wrapper.

Beyond that, I was feeling very focused and centered. I opened those chocolates, and I'm not making this up. These are the three message I received from the chocolate. 'Nuff said.

the risky road

well i'm headed
down the risky road
takin' nothing but a prayer
and the dreams i've stowed
will i get to where i'm going ?
i dont know
cause it's a risky road


keep walking forward
don't look back
there's no point in crying
over what you lack
just keep your feet between the ridges of the narrow tracks
of that risky road


i'm not the first one to make a leap of faith
i won't be the last to cross the gap 
sheerly on grace
and the day will come
when my foolish heart can't keep the pace
down the risky road

copyright Laura Lisbeth 2012

Shoes vs Art

I wouldn't describe myself as a materialistic person. And yet, there are some items that I must purchase and that I must have. Some of these items are not necessarily utilitarian, but they make me happy.

Shoes - new shoes - bring me joy. I don't know why I love 'em, I just do. And I require shoes. Call it addiction, a habit - call it what you want. In my head, I have already planned and plotted what my next pair will be. It's only a matter of time. And I don't just "need" one new pair. I need one in each of the categories I've created in my head.

Lately, I have had to hold off on the shoe buying, because I'm spending it all on recording - saving it all for the studio. So don't anyone try to tell me that I don't suffer for my art. I do. Oh, I do. And it's a worthy reason indeed. If I can just figure out how to record the right kind of song, I suspect that it would bring about some good shoe karma that would perhaps result in a my being inundated with new shoes. So that's the plan. That's the dream.

Yes, I Have Doubts

Daylight and coffee always make things look better.

I woke up at 1 am last night, filled with thoughts of doubt and reasons why I was obviously crazy for deciding to record my songs in a Nashville studio with strangers, no less. I mean, who just decides to go and do something like this? Who am I to think this is necessary? I'm taking time off of work, leaving my family,  and spending a lot of money to make this happen, all in the name of my "art."

In addition, I cut the tip of my pinkie finger yesterday with a big knife, and at the time it seemed like more of an annoyance than anything. But it bled profusely and I had to keep it bandaged pretty tightly all day. At 1 am, while I was assailed with doubts about my upcoming trip, that little sucker was throbbing. I found myself doing mental calculations about how I could fit in a trip to Urgent Care in the morning. A full-blown emergency room visit was definitely out - everyone knows it takes hours, and I would miss my flight. If I didn't have someone look at it, would the tip of my pinkie lose its connection with the rest of the finger and become gangrenous? Is "gangrenous" a word? When was my last tetanus shot? What if I went all the way to Nashville, assembled a studio full of musicians and then came down with lockjaw? Do people still get lockjaw? Is this an omen - a sign that what I am getting ready to do is just nuts?

I'm sporadically reading a book about following your creative path. The author says that doubts like this are just ways we put up blocks because we're afraid to go forward and -- take that leap. I have to say, at 1 am, that wisdom just doesn't fly.

Now it's morning, and this coffee is working magic - giving me the confidence I need to get on with it. The pinkie finger actually still hurts, but I've examined it in the light of day and I see no signs of abdication by the tip, so things are looking great. Onward to Nashville!