Yes, I Have Doubts

Daylight and coffee always make things look better.

I woke up at 1 am last night, filled with thoughts of doubt and reasons why I was obviously crazy for deciding to record my songs in a Nashville studio with strangers, no less. I mean, who just decides to go and do something like this? Who am I to think this is necessary? I'm taking time off of work, leaving my family,  and spending a lot of money to make this happen, all in the name of my "art."

In addition, I cut the tip of my pinkie finger yesterday with a big knife, and at the time it seemed like more of an annoyance than anything. But it bled profusely and I had to keep it bandaged pretty tightly all day. At 1 am, while I was assailed with doubts about my upcoming trip, that little sucker was throbbing. I found myself doing mental calculations about how I could fit in a trip to Urgent Care in the morning. A full-blown emergency room visit was definitely out - everyone knows it takes hours, and I would miss my flight. If I didn't have someone look at it, would the tip of my pinkie lose its connection with the rest of the finger and become gangrenous? Is "gangrenous" a word? When was my last tetanus shot? What if I went all the way to Nashville, assembled a studio full of musicians and then came down with lockjaw? Do people still get lockjaw? Is this an omen - a sign that what I am getting ready to do is just nuts?

I'm sporadically reading a book about following your creative path. The author says that doubts like this are just ways we put up blocks because we're afraid to go forward and -- take that leap. I have to say, at 1 am, that wisdom just doesn't fly.

Now it's morning, and this coffee is working magic - giving me the confidence I need to get on with it. The pinkie finger actually still hurts, but I've examined it in the light of day and I see no signs of abdication by the tip, so things are looking great. Onward to Nashville!