Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Harshing My (Muse)Mellow

I tell you I can't get anything done, what with all this fa-la-la and ho-ho-ho and Black Friday and Cyber Monday and only 25 shopping days till Xmas, and consumption of mass quantities of various celebratory spirits,  and Christmas music (which I happen to love, by the way, but could someone please tell the local radio stations to UPDATE THEIR PLAYLISTS?). And while I'm winging the shoulderblade of Christmas music, I must add that the absolute worst, most horrible, most annoying Christmas song ever is that damned Hippopotamus song............and then of course there is my family's annual debate over whether Burl Ives is a loveable Christmas icon or a soul-bleaching, ear-burning old coot. It's all very draining and there's no room left for creativity.

I have songs to write, songs to finish, songs to start. I have songs coming in from some astral plane that are knocking at my door and if I don't answer it, they are going to just schmutz into vapor and dissipate.

The holidays are harshing my Muse-mellow
Turning my brain to marshmallow
With their salads made of fruit-jello
And incessant songs of jingle bello
The holidays kill my creative process
While dashing thru the snow with hosses
Shopping out among the mosses
I become a little crosses
I need a quite place to thinkle
The holidays make me want to drinkle
I settle for cookie topped with sprinkle
And leave a couple for kris krinkle


  1. Ha ha! Great poem! I hope you set IT to music, because I think it should become a Christmas classic. So when you find the time--har, har--put that at the top of your songwriting list.

    It sounds like you are so overwhelmed you have no time to defend your weak and baseless position that Burl is a soul-bleaching coot. Yet you have thrown down the gauntlet, so I take this opportunity to reassert, yet again, Burl's eminence in the holiday canon. He is a beloved figure and deservedly so. As a multi-talented singer songwriter, you must surely know this is true.

  2. i was wondering if ms. monie would let that slur of burl slip by, but i see she has answered your initial salvo with a reply. and yes, that christmas flow/poem needs music!

  3. for all i know she may have a command center set up to deal with burl issues so that not a disparaging word goes unanswered in word, print, or on line. in fact, she is probably a member of some split off group of librarians who use their "resource room" for evil...

  4. Hey GF - can't wait to see you on Sunday. I will be there - want to see and hear you in person and hear more about your Nashville trip.
    Kathy H.

  5. Burl was a hack. Churning out cheap useless crap. Someone screwed up when they gave him his first audience. Hold on I need to hurl..... Please let's set up our own command center to fight this evil Ives support group. I can no longer stomach this seasons endless parade of over-played Ives tributes. It must end now.