Thursday, March 22, 2012

A Collings Guitar in Every Pot

I would like a new guitar. But don’t tell Jasper that. He needs to feel like he’s the Alpha Guitar in our house, and as it stands, he is. I don’t really think any guitar could take his place as he is the guitar for all seasons and body types – he’s complimentary to every figure.

But if I had money to burn, I’d get a Collings and have it custom made. I don’t want to offend any Martin lovers here. I’m not an anti-Martinite. My dear Jasper is of Martin blood. But a Collings guitar has the sweetest, the most lush sound ever. Hearing a Collings is like taking a bite out of rich milk chocolate with a squishy, creamy caramel center. Not surprisingly, they have a sweet price tag. If you’re going to get something nicer, why not go the whole hog, I say, and get a Collings?

When I get my Collings, it will have all the bells and whistles on it. It will have a built-in coffee brewer and GPS. The case will have an insulated compartment for a 6-pack and a pull out Coleman stove for those times when I find myself stranded in the middle of nowhere or I just want to have a good ol’ time.

Okay, I didn’t say that Collings is the best guitar in the world. I just want one. You have your Gibsons, Martins, Breedloves, Guilds, Seagulls, Takamines, Taylors, etc. I’m not technically proficient and I don’t know everything about necks, nuts, bracing, tuners, blah blah blah. There are plenty of people who hold that kind of knowledge in their brains so that I don't have to. I just know that I’ve played a few and it was love at first strum-de-dum-de-dum.

Some day when I’m a big star
I’m gonna own a Collings guitar
The nicest one that they can make
Pinch me so I know I'm awake
Oh life will be much sweeter
When I get my supersonic-SJ-cutaway-abalone inlay-not gonna put it on layaway-it's no beater-tops out the awesome meter-6-string Collings guitarrrrrrr
!

8 comments:

  1. i know nothing about guitars but i SO want you to have a collings! you need to make a song out of that clever poem at the end of your post. very funny!

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    1. oh, it will happen!! it's gonna happen! why shouldnt it?

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  2. I'm with Suzanne...I don't know squat about gueetars, but this post sent me to Collings website in search of an SJ with abalone inlay.
    Holy crap! Now I need one, too.
    When I get mine, I'll have to hang it on the wall and just look at it 'cause I wouldn't have a clue how the dad-burned thingy is supposed to work...but it sure is purty.

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    1. yeah, they sound purty too but they are spendy-spendy

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  3. Write a jingle for the Collings people and maybe they'll give you one!

    I found this post interesting. It's neat to read about a subject I don't know much about. Any time you want to write more about guitar selection and playing, I'll be all ears.

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    1. i don't know jack about it! but if i ever get a bead on a collings, i'll write about it - oh yeah

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  4. went to a website, some music store in nashville, and they had a LOT of collings for sale. yep, very spendy, spendy. interesting variations in the price, though, anywhere from 2500 to 9000! and the colors....do you prefer the lighter woods, or the darker, more classic shades? hell, i learned a lot about guitars just reading their website and looking at assorted collings. who knew??

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  5. ooohhh! what is the name of music store?

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