A Collings Guitar in Every Pot

I would like a new guitar. But don’t tell Jasper that. He needs to feel like he’s the Alpha Guitar in our house, and as it stands, he is. I don’t really think any guitar could take his place as he is the guitar for all seasons and body types – he’s complimentary to every figure.

But if I had money to burn, I’d get a Collings and have it custom made. I don’t want to offend any Martin lovers here. I’m not an anti-Martinite. My dear Jasper is of Martin blood. But a Collings guitar has the sweetest, the most lush sound ever. Hearing a Collings is like taking a bite out of rich milk chocolate with a squishy, creamy caramel center. Not surprisingly, they have a sweet price tag. If you’re going to get something nicer, why not go the whole hog, I say, and get a Collings?

When I get my Collings, it will have all the bells and whistles on it. It will have a built-in coffee brewer and GPS. The case will have an insulated compartment for a 6-pack and a pull out Coleman stove for those times when I find myself stranded in the middle of nowhere or I just want to have a good ol’ time.

Okay, I didn’t say that Collings is the best guitar in the world. I just want one. You have your Gibsons, Martins, Breedloves, Guilds, Seagulls, Takamines, Taylors, etc. I’m not technically proficient and I don’t know everything about necks, nuts, bracing, tuners, blah blah blah. There are plenty of people who hold that kind of knowledge in their brains so that I don't have to. I just know that I’ve played a few and it was love at first strum-de-dum-de-dum.

Some day when I’m a big star
I’m gonna own a Collings guitar
The nicest one that they can make
Pinch me so I know I'm awake
Oh life will be much sweeter
When I get my supersonic-SJ-cutaway-abalone inlay-not gonna put it on layaway-it's no beater-tops out the awesome meter-6-string Collings guitarrrrrrr!

Mirror Wisdoms: When Yes Means No

I used to have a friend who was a jazz saxophone player. I say "used to" because I'm dead to him now. But that's another story entirely, and not really relevent to today's topic.  Anyway, before I was dead to him, he shared with me many, many unsolicited facts about himself.  One particular fact I found notable: he liked to write down sayings, quotes,  regional colloquialisms, etc. in a tiny book that he carried around with him. As he traveled around the country, he wrote down anything that interested him for future reference. He often felt compelled to share quotes from his little book with his friends.


I love quotes.  I like to cut out little motivational/inspirational revelations I find and tape them to my bathroom mirror so that I see them every morning. I tape them to my computer screen. I write them down and carry them in my pocket - little affirmations to float me along the on current of my day.


A while back, I happened onto a tidbit that was really helpful. (Unfortunately, I don't know the source - I only remember it was from an  unconventional place).  Wherever it came from, it was something I really needed to hear and still need to remind myself. Therefore, it's currently posted on my bathroom mirror:  

When you say yes to something,

especially something that takes your time,

you're likely saying no to a host of other things by default.

Leave yourself open to saying yes

to the opportunities that really matter.

I tend to be a yes yes yes person. I feel guilty saying no no no. At least, I did before this little cheese curd of wisdom came into my life. So simple, and so profound -- the mirror hath spoken!

No Time on My Hands

Time, Time, Time

See what's become of me

While I looked around for my possibilities

I was so hard to please....

- from Hazy Shade of Winter by Paul Simon

 

 

I think about Time all the time.

I think about how I never seem to have enough of it. I think about how it's a finite number for all of us. Time. It never stops, never sleeps.

Time has such mystique - it's so elusive: I can never find it. What is this Spare Time I am always hearing about? 

Make these amazing potholders in your spare time!  

Pfff! Spare Time, it is a myth, a fable, I tell you.

Apparently, if you do not have enough time, you must then somehow make Time. I’m always trying to carve out a little piece of it, or make better use of mine. Most importantly, you should never, ever waste it, lest someone yell at you:

We're burnin' daylight!

Don't dillydally!

We're gettin' nowhere fast!

Time's a wastin'!

Now, there's an hour of my life I can never get back!

I’ve heard of people having too much Time on their hands, but I have yet to experience it myself. People who have too much Time on their hands create elaborate models of the Santa Maria, the Nina, and the Pinta out of toothpicks. They manicure their lawns with mustache scissors. They paint graffiti on large expanses of concrete. They gather at a friend’s house, drink a lot of liquor, and leave the empties all over the lawn. They crochet potholders out of multicolor yarn and gift them to family members for Christmas. Too bad there isn’t a Time Bank somewhere that could accept donations. Then people like me would go to the Bank and get some.

Of course, best kind of Time is Free Time. Free Time! When you have Free Time, you can do whatever you want with it! When you have Free Time, you are rich with possibilities. The world is your oyster because you have all this time in which you shall accomplish wonderful, soul-satisfying things.   It is during my Free Time that I can write, or paint, create or…vegetate.

Ah, but this Free Time must be used wisely. You only get so much of it  -- unless you are a gypsy. Gypsies, as we know, frolic and cavort all day and all night with no regrets. But for most of us, Free Time is a coveted, sought after, and closely guarded jewel.  And it’s scarce. It’s in short supply. 

I am horizontal as I write this blog. This is called “dovetailing” -- a skill I first learned about in a High School Home Ec class. I’m combining two tasks in order to make the best use of my Free Time. Even as my mind and my hands are writing, the rest of me is relaxing and vegetating. No small skill.

 

 

 

 

 

Girl: Interrupted

How frustrating and annoying it is to get sidelined by a simple everyday malady such as a cold/flu/sinus thing! I’ve been hunkered down in survival mode since last weekend and it’s getting old.

For more than a week, I’ve felt too tired to get on line and do the things I need to do. I haven’t written songs or poetry, and have barely answered emails, checked my bank balance, or paid the cable bill. Meanwhile, my list of unGoogled items grows longer by the minute.

Because you see, there are things I must Google. And they are things that have nothing whatsoever to do with my art or work. At any given moment, I am carrying around a mental list of things that I need to look up for informational purposes. In addition, there are things I need to Google just because they are there.

Here is a partial list, in no particular order:

How to repot a plant that has been in the same pot for 10 years.

Should you repot a plant that has been in the same pot for 10 years.

How to tell if you are a plant abuser.

A recipe for apple slaw

Is Kim Kardashian’s butt real?

How many calories in a corn meal muffin?

Corn meal muffin recipes

Why does my cat groom himself excessively?

Is Beyonce & JayZ’s baby wearing a wig?

Did Beyonce use a surrogate?

What are these minute red bugs I see from time to time?

When is the best time of year to prune your shrubs?

Sinus headache acupressure points

How to get rid of corns?

Does duct tape remove warts?

What about corns?

The ultimate brownie recipe

The ultimate cheesecake recipe.

Tamalewizards.com

The list goes on. It could take me another week to catch up.