Love Me, Love My Hair: A Post for Big Hair Lovers Everywhere

Before I even got out of bed this morning, I was thinking about titles for this blog. And the mind - at 6:00 am - is particularly brilliant and inspired – or so it would seem at that moment. Those blog titles were flipping by like flash cards. 

I Belong to the Big Hair Club

Big Guitar, Big Hair

Big Hair is Sexy

Channeling Amy Winehouse

Two hours later, that bubble of brilliance has popped – and almost all of those titles have disappeared. I had planned to fill my blog up with titles, without ever getting into the mentality of someone who espouses the philosophy of “No Hair Too Big.”

A few years ago, my sister and I went to see Art Garfunkel with the KC Symphony. Our seats were pretty far from the stage, and  Art was just a tiny figure far, far below. We couldn’t make out his face at all. What we agreed upon after the show was that all we could see was a giant halo of copper hair! One has to wonder, had he not had big hair, would we have been convinced that he was really there?

Big Hair ensures that you will not be missed, I guess.  

Reasons why. I. Love. Big. Hair:

It’s fluffy.

It gives the illusion of more.

It’s fascinating.

It’s a statement.

It’s sexy. If it isn’t, why do I own hair spray called, “Big Sexy Hair.”

It creates a boundary which should not be crossed.

It distracts attention away from the imperfections of the face.

When Big Hair is not a good idea:

At a job interview.

In a movie theater.

At the pool – if you intend to get it wet.

Near an open flame

Of course I’ve seen people take it too far!

Yes, yes, I realize that huge hair can be an extreme statement. It can be an indication that something’s amiss. ……….Or a-missin’. But judge ye not too harshly, my friends.  You know the old saying: Love me, love my hair......

Minding My Biz

Being a performing songwriter  is more than just a hobby to me. I guess in some ways, it’s a calling. Does that make it a vocation? The truth is, it’s a sideline business, and I’m always striving to be better at taking care of business. To do this, I require focus, energy, time, and a belief in myself.

Taking care of business is an endless task, similar in its perpetual-ness to weeding the garden, doing laundry, tweezing your chin hairs – there is always more that requires care and attention and it’s sooo easy to fall behind. 

I confess that I am often sporadic about taking care of my music biz. If my music biz was a car with a manual transmission, you’d see it shuddering and jerking down the street, as I try to shift gears and keep from killing it all together.  That’s how I drive it sometimes.  And often, I don’t even know for sure which way I’m headed, which can be a problem both in life and in driving.

One thing I have figured out, however, is that I value my talent.  And you know, it’s HARD sometimes to value yourself and what you have to offer. I wasn’t raised that way! Someone was always afraid we might get “the Big Head.”  But how can I expect others to value it if I don’t value it myself?  And  conversely, if EVERYONE values it BUT me – I will never really get the return on the process of creating that I seek.

  

Shoes vs Art

I wouldn't describe myself as a materialistic person. And yet, there are some items that I must purchase and that I must have. Some of these items are not necessarily utilitarian, but they make me happy.

Shoes - new shoes - bring me joy. I don't know why I love 'em, I just do. And I require shoes. Call it addiction, a habit - call it what you want. In my head, I have already planned and plotted what my next pair will be. It's only a matter of time. And I don't just "need" one new pair. I need one in each of the categories I've created in my head.

Lately, I have had to hold off on the shoe buying, because I'm spending it all on recording - saving it all for the studio. So don't anyone try to tell me that I don't suffer for my art. I do. Oh, I do. And it's a worthy reason indeed. If I can just figure out how to record the right kind of song, I suspect that it would bring about some good shoe karma that would perhaps result in a my being inundated with new shoes. So that's the plan. That's the dream.

Letting Go Ain't Easy

Have you ever noticed sometimes, if you stop worrying and fretting about something and just sort of let go and say,

“I’m going to let things progress as they are supposed to – whatever that is. I can’t give so much of my energy to worrying about it.”

Then BAM! -- a big, fat change happens. It’s almost as if YOU were the one who was blocking the whole thing, because you were holding on, holding on, to the old paradigm.  

How is it possible that I could be responsible for preventing the very thing I want to happen from happening?  I don’t know. Go ask Buddha, maybe.  Even though I can be a serious control freak, I have found it to really work to just let go of some things at times.  

But letting go ain’t easy.

It may require courage. Or faith....... and it can take time.
To quote Kate Swoboda, author and life coach (www.yourcourageouslife.com): “You can’t force the release.”  To quote my friend, Rebecca, “When you’re ready, you will.”  In the meantime, you just do all that you can do:

“When you have done all that you can do, give it up to the part of yourself that is divine.” – Oprah Winfrey.

I realize that this is bordering seriously on the woo-woo. Fear not, Dear Bloglodites, I have not yet taken up wearing caftans and letting my armpit hair grow out. I am merely revisiting a treasured truth that I discovered but have apparently forgotten. Letting go is not a recent discovery - not a new idea.  It’s been around a while..... 

Knowledge is learning something every day. Wisdom is letting go of something every day. -Zen proverb

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. - Lao Tzu

How deeply did you learn to let go? - the Buddha

     

Torn Between Two Lauras

I’ve been trying to find time to do all of the things I love. I keep thinking that there has to be some way to rearrange the hours of the day, or to divide them up, so as to allow my creative Self to have a life. As it stands now, it’s about 90% Responsible Laura and 10% Creative Laura.

Now there’s an interesting revelation – - the fact that I define the part of me who must go to work and deal with the everyday drudgery as “responsible.” Why can’t Creative Laura be responsible too? She’s certainly not irresponsible. It’s not like she can be found hanging out under an overpass, smoking crack.

There’s a battle happening here, and the two Lauras are at odds. I haven’t figured out how to let them coexist happily within one body. Responsible Laura has fears. She doesn’t want to live in a cardboard box behind Wal-Mart.  She likes to be able to pay for things, like electricity and food  and shoes. And let’s face it – Creative Laura can’t concern herself with things like that, lest she lose inspiration.  

Responsible Laura hears  the insistent little voice of Creative Laura asking for more time, and this unsettles her.  She feels guilty and off center, somehow.  She offers unworkable deals such as “you can have midnight to 2 am.” Creative Laura can’t  stay awake that late these days.